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est.1997
Updated April 19, 2009
Jan 21 - Feb 19
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. You make the same mistakes repeatedly because you are stupid. Everyone thinks you are a fucking jerk.
Feb 20 - Mar 20
You are a pioneering type and think most people are dickheads. You are quick to reprimand, impatient and full of advice. You do nothing but piss off everyone you come in contact with. You are a prick.
Mar 21 - Apr 20
You have a wild imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI or CIA. You have major influence on your friends and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence, but are still a general bad ass.
Apr 21 - May 21
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist.
May 22 - Jun 21
You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You are inclined to expect too much for too little.
This means you are a cheap bastard. Gemini’s are notorious for thriving on incest.
Jun 22 - Jul 23
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people’s problems, which makes you a sucker. You are always putting things off.
That is why you will always be on welfare and won’t be worth a shit. Everyone in prison is a Cancer.
Jul 24 - Aug 23
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are an idiot. Most Leo’s are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieving motherfuckers and enjoy masturbation more than sex.
Aug 24 - Sept 23
You are a logical type and hate disorder. Your shit-picking attitude is sickening to your friends and co-workers. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while fucking. Virgo’s make good bus drivers and pimps.
Sept 24 - Oct 23
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time dealing with reality. If you are a male you are probably queer. Chances for employment and monetary gain are nil. Most Libra women are whores. All Libra die of venereal disease.
Oct 24 - Nov 22
You are the worst of the lot. You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. You are the perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpio’s are murdered.
Nov 23 - Dec 21
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on your luck since you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarius’ are drunks. You are a worthless piece of shit.
Dec 22 - Jan 20
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chickenshit. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance.
You should kill yourself.
